What to do When Your Spouse has Other Travel Preferences
I have a very independent personality. So for the majority of my trips I always like to ride solo because that means I get full control of my schedule and itinerary. I am also an extrovert, so it is very easy for me to make friends everywhere I go.
But last year, I got married, and few things in life are as awesome as getting to see God’s gorgeous planet with my favorite human. In our short year and a half of marriage we have been to 3 different continents and 4 different countries. And on Monday we are leaving for another country in another continent! How exciting!
I love that my husband loves to travel! The challenge? My husband does not always like to travel like I do.
Let’s see if you are #teamMatt or #teamDiana haha
I like to get up as early as possible, walk as much as I can, take as many pictures as I can, and constantly do things with very little rest. I can rest when I get home right?
Matt likes to get adequate amounts of sleep, walk a comfortable amount, take mental pictures, and rest when he gets tired, like a sensible human being haha.
So that means that when we got married, we had to do some adjusting.
Here are some tips for when you are traveling with your spouse (or partner), who also happens to be your travel opposite:
Mix it up. The first country we went to together was Mexico. Since I am the one who plans all our travel, I had to mix in a little bit of what we both like. For example, one day we hit three different little towns around Playa and did an excursion. The next day all we had on the agenda was “go to the beach”. So we had a Diana type of day - full of stuff, and a Matt type of day - more laidback.
Go to a destination where one of you has already been. This was one of the things that helped us when we went to Amsterdam in July. I had already been there years before, but Matt had not. I was not in a rush to do it all and see it all because I already had. So I took my time showing Matt certain things that I liked about the downtown area. It was still really cool because it felt like he was exploring the city through my eyes, and I ended up really liking that.
Manage expectations. When my expectations are not met, it is emotionally taxing for me. So one thing that we like to do is have a conversation about expectations before and during the trip. We talk about what are our must sees, what is the point of the trip, what I can do if my expectations are not met, and what are the areas where we can compromise. For example, Matt doesn’t like to take as many pictures as I do, but he knows that I expect him to pose for several pictures during vacation, so he does, and he does it because he knows it is important to me.
Listen to each other’s needs and wants. All in all, caring for each other comes first, so we listen to each other and put each other first. For example, when we went to Utah I REALLY wanted to see the Salt Flats, and Matt did not really care, but because it was something that I wanted, we went. He ended up loving it! He says it was his favorite part of the trip! But he only did it because it was something that I wanted.
Travel with other buddies. This is for all my extroverts out there! I see you! I AM you! haha. Another thing that was helpful for us was being out and about with friends that are locals, it kind of took the focus off of each other since we were just following someone else. And it helped us focus on spending time with friends instead of focusing on a schedule. That really fills our love buckets since we are both very people oriented.
Those have really helped us in the last year and a half. Hopefully we’ll keep learning though! Because although we do not travel the same, I would not want to travel the world with anyone else.
